he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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