so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
