I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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