This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's Friday. Sex?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
