She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
