Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Quick, to the slutcave!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize