i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
