So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
