I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
