You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
