So drunk, too bad you don't want this
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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