So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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