she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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