Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sarcasm needs its own font
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
