my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
