Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
