Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
