OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
