I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
