All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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