She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
