They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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