we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
