I'm really into asian looking animals
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
