I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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