Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Terrible idea I love it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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