did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
