my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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