i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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