Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize