and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
