thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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