Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
