did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My liver just broke up with me...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
