went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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