its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
