babies were throwing up all over the place
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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