For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I touched a dick in church today
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize