How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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