I want to have your abortion
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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