Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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