Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize