Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
