Screwed.edu
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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