I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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