If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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