i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
