You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize