normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
