Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
