So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
