I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
