it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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