I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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