i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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