I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize