Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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