Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
