After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
