just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
