I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
