did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
